it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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