I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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