just tell him i said nine months
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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