u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
