i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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