Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
