I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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