How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
