"it" just moved
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
third nipple confirmed
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
