Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
