dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
