I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
