He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
