im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
