She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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