Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
