well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
