After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I didn't notice because vodka
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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