got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
