How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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