the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I want to fling myself into the sun
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
