38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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