but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
