Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
