Slut skills are useful in every country.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
