Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
