Screwed.edu
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
