were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
