i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
