Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
