Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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