somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
