I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
