you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
