Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
