My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
