I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
