I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
only if we run a train.
done.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
