she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
