Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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