I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
