I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
