I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
