Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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