i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
