my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
