OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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