just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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