maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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