Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
