It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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