I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
