I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
