38 yer olds are good kisserssss
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
